Hey guys whats up. i went and reported yesterday. man i was scared. i managed to stay some what calm. anyways i told my po that i wasent doing to good. that i am depressed and dont have my meds. i explained what happend with burger king. overal she was understanding and wanted to find me help. I am lucky i have such a nice po ~_~. anyways i have decided that i have to help myself as much as i can. it seems i have to hit absolute rock bottom before i get fed up with being a loser. it is a cycle tho. i try to better myself but i get frustrated and even more depressed. so i seem to go into a fuk it mode where i just sit and waste the days away.
I actully prayed last night to have the strength to do this. i am not religus in fact i do not belive in a god and havent prayed in years. So it was relly hard for me to let down my wall and ask god for help.
Im goin to try and stay positive throught out the day. i hope i can crawl out of this hole. it takes alot of guts for me to try because i know i will usally fail and come right back to where i started. i need to find a medium. i think the only way to do that is to have a job. So i dont know i guess i know what i need to do. its just actully getting the courage to do it is the problem because i am afriade of failer. just thought i would post and give u guys a update if you care.
((((((((all that took the time to read and post)))))))