Well, we can tell you to get help with your mental issues, and we have, go to therapy. Really, you should go.

You came here talking about things he IS doing that are making you unhappy in this situation. You can work on yourself until you are the mentally healthiest person in the world, but these problems will not improve, because you cannot change him.

I am not comfortable with the age thing, however I didn't really mention it, because just because it wouldn't be something I want, I realize others feel differently about it. The real problem is how he treats you and how it makes you feel. You aren't feeling good about it, that's why you posted. Him wanting you to hurt yourself, or liking it, is the EXACT opposite of love.

I think you are really confused. What is your idea of passion??? Of course healthy relationships can be filled with passion. Passion isn't rocking the boat. Could it be that you are so used to chaos the you cannot imagine life with out it?

If you have no idea what a healthy relationship is , you need to find out. Seriously. Healthy relationships are about respecting each other, value, equality, support, love, just to name a few.. But I just don't see any of this in what you post, except maybe coming from you, but not him.

I'm not as disgusted with the age, although you are only 18, how old were you when you met him, 17 ? you gotta be able to see why people disagree with this, he well into a stage of life that you are not. It pretty easy for a man that age to take advantage of someone your age, especially when you are having emotional difficulties.

I am disgusted with how he treats you, and doesn't he have not just a wife, but another girlfriend also, you said that in your first post, so you are the sex, to the girlfriend on the side, to the wife. I don't really know how to help you unless you want to get real honest about it, I don't think this is even really a relationship, except on your side. And you can not have a one sided relationship.

Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion and affection; and "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".

I underlined the last statement, because that is exactly part of what's missing.