Thank you for the links. More I read up on it the more I realize that the abusive ex did in fact rape me, he used threats of rape etc.

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"Coercive persuasion attempts to force people to change beliefs, ideas, attitudes or behaviors using psychological pressure, undue influence, threats, anxiety, intimidation and/or stress.

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I don't know if that could refer to what happened in this post with that guy a few times or not.

This is interesting too.

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There is a very long list of misconceptions about rape, sex and consent, so let's try to dispell some of the myths. Advocates often hear the following statements. And survivors are surprised to learn that these circumstances do not qualify as consent.

There's no DNA evidence.
I didn't scream for help.
He's my boyfriend.
I was drunk.
I let him in my room.
I persuaded him to use a condom.
My body responded.
I don't have injuries, or skin under my fingernails, to prove that I resisted.
There were no witnesses. It's his word against mine.

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and this:

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Note to men: be very careful when initiating sex with any woman. If she doesn't say 'yes', you could be facing a rape charge. Remember these facts. Ignorance of the law is not a defense. Silence is not consent. And no means NO.

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Bookmarking these.