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Thank you for your reply.
Yesterday was a very hard day, Saturday night I spent most of it awake crying because I wished she hadn't been so alone when she died, I wished I could have helped her more and more than anything I wished she could have been here to celebrate her Birthday and smile one last time.
Yesterday I spent feeling guilty because I had a major blitz of the flat which gave me something to concentrate negative energies on and then I had a massage which left me feeling like I wanted to stay in my relaxed 'lala land' state for the rest of the evening, so I didn't do much for Isla apart from something I very, very rarely do and that was to eat some chocolate. Chocolate really isn't my thing, I don't get on with it at all but I know it would have made Isla proud to see me beat my negative thoughts.
Today hasn't been much easier. My head is pounding, work was stressful and I'm horribly tired from tossing and turning in the night. I have missed her like anything today, she's been pretty much all that's been on my mind today which isn't helpful.
Isla was my tiniest friend, my biggest inspiration and my whole entire reason for beating the cr*p out of Anorexia/Bulimia. OK, I purged last week but I was having a hard week and just felt terrible... It happens.
Isla was, is, always will be, my star.
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