I understand the rationalizing in the moment thing.
Perhaps keep a journal,if you don't enjoy writing,try to make monitoring how you are feeling/functioning,an easy thing to track on a daily basis.For instance think of all of the things in your emotional/functional realm that you value,and those which cause you significant difficulty.Getting a clear picture of your "inventory" will give you a basis from which to begin addressing the issues that cause you the most significant amount of distress or concern.
I have included some links because I felt that if you printed these off as a reference of what to note in daily monitoring,you could better assist yourself,and gain some concrete mental notes of patterns or issues and their relevance to you or not.This may save you the boring 'journaling' that many undertake .(Boring...or time consuming to some lol) Well,so I looked around and tried to find things where it would reduce the amount of writing commitment ,and things you could print off and utilise for your personal tool box so-to-speak.Awareness brings us out of the dark,and shines a light on hidden things.It's half the battle in seeking mental/emotional health.
Perhaps you would like to view these and see if any strike you as useful.
Mood moniter
http://www.mymoodmonitor.com/User/DiagnosisQues.aspx
Bipolar symptom checklist
http://mysite.verizon.net/res003jh/l...tate/id15.html
Mood regulation symptom rating scale
https://kr.ihc.com/ext/Dcmnt?ncid=51069668
Depression symptom rating scale
https://kr.ihc.com/ext/Dcmnt?ncid=51069664
Re:ADHD assessment scale
http://www.able-differently.org/PDF_...biltParent.pdf
MentalHelp.net
http://www.mentalhelp.net/
On-line journal site…if you dis-like this one type into your browser on-line journal and more will pop up
http://penzu.com/?gclid=CLjC0Y-erq4CFYoZQgodVRODSw
Please try to love you,and treat you as kind as you possibly can.The human experience,as you know,is universally complex,no one is perfect,and give yourself a break on your self-expectations,because you know all things fluctuate.It will improve...highs,...and lows.