Yes, one can lead a horse to water, but cannot make it drink, true. But eventually that horse will have to drink to stay alive. The posters that have come forward have told you where to find healthy clean water and not the stale water that just is handed to you.

Having someone appreciate you at your age can be a draw, anywhere it happens to present itself. If it is because of the mere fact of your youth and that you can provide and outlet for someones sexual release, often that is overlooked simply for the sense of somehow being important to at least someone. In some way, sex can give a sense of some kind of power and it can be somewhat easy power. But it really isn't power at all, it isn't real love, it isn't REAL appreciation either.

You say his compliments towards you are skewed, are they really? Perhaps what is really happening is that he is speaking the truth, his love for you is all about how you physically meet his needs. It is you that is scewing the messages because you want to think he actually loves YOU as a human being.

He told you that he LIKES it when you cut? Oh that is because he is feeding into his desire for you to be passive more and more, giving him a sense of power. He isn't thinking about what cutting really means to someone who does it, it is the one way that person deals with pain and disappointment and anger, it seems to dull the pain
somehow. It taps on to the body's senses for dulling in releasing certain chemicals and so it distracts the mind from emotional pain, that is all. No, he doesn't care about that, doesn't care about your emotional pain, he only cares about his needs being met. And if you really pay attention, he is telling you the truth about what he loves, it is the sex you provide him with. And his wife? she already knows there is no power in that, perhaps her permission to him is more about going somewhere else for that.

Are you even making any plans to invest in yourself? Are you even considering how you might nourish something else you may have that you are overlooking? Surely you have something there you can learn more about using, everyone has some kind of gift, something they can be good at doing (other than just sex).

Don't know?, well, the first thing to do is get a base education and make a plan to see how, what you learn, are exposed to, can bring out an interest that you may not know is there.

You talk about working on your relationship with this man? So is that your main goal now? All your efforts, energy towards some man that gives you the truth in his compliments, yet you want more? Are you pretending that he doesn't get his other needs met perhaps by his wife? After all he talks about loving her, loving her without the sex from her. Oh you wouldn't understand that now would you? No, not at 18 you wouldn't because up until this point, YOU HAVE NOT EXPERIENCED THAT YET.

Rio, you have talked about how disfunctional your family is. You never got to see REAL FUNCTION, AND A WORKING RELATIONSHIP. So what are you thinking? Oh, that because of that, YOU HAVE TO LOWER YOUR OWN STANDARDS OF LIVING?
WHY,? Just because your parents OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T KNOW HOW, doesn't mean YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THEIR FOOTSTEPS.

Ok, so just because your parents didn't value you somehow, show you love somehow, YOUR GOING TO BASE YOUR SELF WORTH ON THEM? Rio, they are just two people in a world of people and they obviously DIDN'T KNOW VERY MUCH, maybe because THEY DIDN'T INVEST IN GAINING MUCH KNOWLEDGE EITHER.

So, you don't really know how a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WORKS. SO, you make a decision to LEARN about it, go and educate yourself, BE SOMETHING MORE THAN YOUR PARENTS. You honestly don't have to FOLLOW THEIR LOWLY PATH. You CAN empower yourself BEYOND THEIR IGNORANCE.

Rio, YOUR ONLY 18, and whatever experience you have IT IS NOT THE PRODUCTIVE EXPERIENCE you NEED TO HAVE to KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. You can learn just like many others do, you honestly can. But in order to do that you have to make a decision to actually start down that path. No, none of the members here can MAKE you do that. Only you can do that. And the only thing that the members here can tell you is THAT YOU ACTUALLY "CAN" DO THAT.

Open Eyes