Honestly, just as he probably doesn't tell me the full truth, or truth my omission of all the facts, I do the same to him when it suits me. EVERYONE does this in every aspects of their lives.

If somewhere inside me, which I wouldnt want to conciously admit, I actually enjoy relationships like this. And this time I get all the emotional drama without physical abuse.

Maybe I just need to admit to myself that I WANT my relationship to be like this, and if that is the case then there is nothing wrong with that. I can LEARN all I want, but eventually I'm going to have to mold any knowledge to suit me as an INDIVIDUAL. Which means that your views on relationships are wrong to me, because we're not the same person. We write the rules ourselves, NO-ONE can tell me how I love someone or how they love me is wrong. I wouldn't tell anyone ever that the way they love is wrong, perhaps I'd say it was messed up, but I'd also say that it's right for them, so great.

He makes me happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I dont even think about killing myself that much anymore. How can someone that makes me want to live be bad to have in my life?

Also. you dont have to experience something to understand it, if that were the case for someone, if they couldn't understand without experiencing, that would be called a lack of empathy.

Maybe I did just want someone to tell me that actually everything I described is normal, to feel validated. If he's using me sexually, then surely him using him emotionally, which would be abuse, yes? Telling him I love him if I don't. Using my mental issues as a way to manipulate and control him?

Who ISN'T abusive? Everyone is, because people dont always respond the way we want, it's a natural tool. Of course there's a balance, a line. And I dont think we're anywhere near to crossing that line.

Open Eyes, in most of your posts you've referred time and time again to my age. Using it against me just like you say he is. Where's the difference though? What makes him using it so bad, but you using it okay? I'm GETTING my education. I got top grades in school, I'm getting top grades in college and I'm going to university.
My personal development does not stop with me I enhance my life by connecting with people that can show me new things and change the way I percieve the world, that IS knowledge, that IS learning. Making the same mistake doesn't make you stupid or ignorant, maybe you have to keep making it until you realise it isn't actually a mistake at all, you've been doing it on purpose all along.