Confusedinomicon- Actually I used to do meditation, but, I'm having problems with that actually...
iseepurple- I get the fight for your freedom thing (if I didn't I don't know if I would have computer access..) But in general, when I fight back, my mom gets all melodramatic. I can ignore the yelling, I'm used to it, I can't ignore my mother repeatedly hitting her head against the wall, hard, saying it's all my fault (though that has only happened twice, but even once is more than enough).
I think it will change in time, as I'm planning to go as far away as I can for my studies.

I'm really worried right now though. I've told my parents I have a hard time concentrating and even remembering what I read (I used to love reading ) And they said they knew someone who had the same problem, went to a psychologist, and was better. And with some manipulating on both sides, I now have an appointment for next week.

And I'm freaking out because, I thought I wanted to see one, but now I can, I don't want to anymore! It's one thing saying stuff here, its another so say it to someone face to face. I don't think Ill even be able to talk about it >< What if she tells my parents something? Like she can't repeat what I said (at least I don't think so), but can she tell my parents her conclusions from what I said? And now I feel like a whiny teen exaggerating my feelings again. And I don't think I can even start saying anything about SI. This is awful