I'm so sorry that you're being treated so poorly!
I don't think you're disgusting at all, I know you're a wonderful person with an unfortunate environment. I wish you the best, and there's always people here who you can talk to. My family really tiptoes around my mental illness and doesn't see it as a legitimate issue. I've yet to see a bona fide family environment for people with bipolar disorder. I wish you the best.