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I do agree that you have nothing to lose by sharing this openly with him. If you feel you cannot talk to him, perhaps write him a letter? It is obvious that you love him dearly so I am sorry that you are feeling so lonely. I felt very sad for you when reading your post.
My thoughts are with you.
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Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long.
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