and so i'm back again I find it really difficult to put things across and now its getting worse I was on here chatting last night whilst sat next to my partner he didn't know what was wrong with me until he seen this chat site then tried to talk to me and once he seen it he tried to chat about it which has made me clam up even more I can't find the words to tell him how I feel to tell him how scared I am. Things all started when I was with my ex we were fine for ten years then he gave up drink within weeks he turned violent he held a knife to my throat hit me infront of the kids this carried on for five years it took all my courage to be able to walk away and moved from one to the next till I met my current partner we were together just twelve months when we moved in with each other and now live as a family with my two children he doesn't drink alot but we like a drink at the weekend and sometimes have a drink through the week but he now wants to go tea total which I appreciate would be the best for the pair of us and for us as a family but just don't have the voice to tell him ho scared I am that things will change although he is nothing like my ex I in my mind think the same situation will happen again I just want to run away curl up in a corner but I have no where to go my parents took my exs side and my family don't speak to me I really do love him but just scared confused and have no one to turn to I cry all the time I look myself away even started to comfort eat never go out other than when necessary always have excuses as to why I don't see friends I am just not the person I used to be anymore