((((((( HUGS ))))))) - I am so SORRY that you are feeling so rejected and unwanted by the man that you love.... as I was reading your post all I could think of was "IS HE SCARED HE MIGHT BE HURTING YOU" and then I read that you two had stopped having sex due to the physical pain it was causing you.... I would have to say that your husband is probably frightened to death that he is hurting the woman he loves and as much as he NEEDS (and wants to be sexual with you) he will not for he cares to much for YOU - you are more that just a mere sex object/thing to him.... he is denying himself sexually for YOU.

Have YOU and HIM talked about this issue in more detailed with each other? - If YES, but it has been awhile might I suggest that you give it another try.... for I suffer from RA and sex had been a problem in our marriage for a short while (until) I talked to my husband about it all and now we work together to bring each other JOY thru SEX! - slow and easy can still get you to where you want to go.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -