Quote:
Originally Posted by shoez
I DONT think I have DID (I dont want to have did....)but......because I recall everything usually. I remember things...I dont forget everything (even thugh I am forgetfull)
But ...
I do a lot of out fo character things...every now and then and i noticed I switch a lot from a person completely obsessed with schoolwork...
to a little kid..
to a grown woman that wants to get married
to a little kid whos scared of everything
to an angry frustrated teenager...
to a completely religious nut..
to being an atheist.
to what I think is myself.
I think little kid me called my T yesterday, so upset and crying and worrying.....and she told me to come in tomorrow...and I wrote this big huge letter....and then today I woke up..and I feel detached to whoever called her yesterday...it doesnt feel like me...I feel totally competent and functional and not emotionally hurt at the moment...And I cant understand the letter...
Its like....I know they exist, I know they take over here and there, and I cant control it. I dont know if they are alters, I dont know if I have DID...but im afraid of showing my T that I dont feel like myself....I dont feel like the same person that called her...or the same person that went to her office. Im scared she wont believe me..
I know one of them helps me with my work...I know one of them called my T yesterday crying...
Is it possible to know your alters , know you have them somewhre...even if you cant control when they come out?
How do you go about telling your T this? How??? Will they lock me up? will she say im nuts? Will she think im lying?
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I had a very similar experience. From the time I was very young I had parts of me that would step forward when needed. I had a myriad of what seemed liked unending thoughts and cross talk in my head for decades. I thought everyone experienced the same thing. But as I have gotten older my ability to keep everyone organized is deteriorating. I switch all the time. I forget people, things I have done, I lose track of time. It is now effecting my work and my friendships. No one knows. They just think I am losing it. I did get better when I started taking an antidepresent and anxiety medication. It slowed down my thoughts and enabled me to hear what was being said. So what I used to think was a single stream of conflicting thoughts in now seperate thoughts by separate alters. I don.t hear a voice. I just have thoughts on what is going on in my life. I found that sharing my concerns and self insights with my t has been very important. It has helped me to understand that I am not going nuts. But I also need to work with my alters and my t to have everyone work together, I think it would help you to talk with our t. I hope everything works out.