Rio, none of us here really know you, but what we do know it what we experienced and felt at your age, along with the mistakes that we ourselves made and what we all learned from our mistakes.

From the way you articulate here, it is clear that you are not stupid Rio, and there is a kind of maturity that you express that is not so typical for your age. So, the good part is that your smart.

Lost cause?, Oh, it is too early in your life to conclude that Rio. Gee, I remember when I was 18, I was not at all the person I am now. And your going to change and grow too. It is just too early to say that your a lost cause, because you honestly have the blessing of years ahead of you to develope a better sense of yourself.

I think that it is good that you found a way out of a time in your life where you had so little self worth and possible inner anger that you were hurting yourself and maybe even allowing others to hurt you in some ways. You say this man changed your direction and you began to have some hope and direction, some positive feelings. It is not this man alone that has done that for you, you did get away from abuse and you also gave yourself PERMISSION to feel better about yourself. So what you gained in all that is a knowing that you CAN develope a better feeling and opinion about yourself.

When I think about your initial question, what I like about it is that it shows that you are looking/considering the next level of establishing "self worth". That is Good Rio, your growing in a better direction. And when I read your replies here, what I see is that you are weighing and balancing this experience and what it really means to you and if it is allowing you to continue in a forward direction of establishing more sense of self worth, self empowerment and some freedom from your past experiences. And Rio, that is what we all do in life, we all try to somehow progress and move forward and learn from whatever we experience.

Actually Rio, I can see by reading in between the lines, that what your defending is something within this relationship adds to your sense of personal worth or well being. And that is a part of a learning process that takes place when young people date and experience different kinds of personal relationships. As you find certain things within a person that you actually like, then you can make a mental note of it and recognize that there is something valuable learned.

I am getting a picture of a young woman that IS trying to take steps to educate herself and also learn about relationships. But I don't think your truely ready to jump on the Marriage Wagon and have a family. And there is nothing wrong with that at all Rio. Your still young yet and there is plenty of time for that down the road, that is if you even want that path, because not everyone wants that.

Saying your a lost cause is just too premature Rio, because you have so much learning ahead of you yet. I think that right now your just debating this relationship for what it really means to you and your life and what you enjoy about it. What you need to consider it not that your some kind of lost cause, but that you have genuine questions, healthy questions and your actually intelligent enough to ask questions to allow yourself to possibly get a better bearing on your own decision making. That is not a lost cause Rio. All your really doing at this point is your stopping and evaluating, that is a good sign. If you were a lost cause, you would not be doing that at all.

The people that have come forward to give you their oppinion based on the information you have presented are only trying to help you GAIN A BETTER SENSE OF PERSONAL VALUE. No one here wants you to walk away feeling your a lost cause Rio. This thread of yours gives you a chance to simply further your own personal bearing on how your going to view this paticular relationship, that is all.

Personally what I have learned by coming to PC and posting and asking questions, is I think about how I respond to different questions or posts here. Sometimes I get upset, sometimes I post and feel better because I somehow validate my opinion on something. And if I get upset?, I have learned that what that does if give me an opportunity to comtemplate why I get upset. And this type of interacting has presented me a lot of ways to actually learn about myself. It is good because I can review how I respond and what that might mean to me about how I am looking at certain situations in my life. And I begin to question how I might improve or progress to a different, more productive way to look at things.

I know your a new member Rio, I want you to feel welcome and to understand that this question is just being given some different thoughts.
Your not being judged really. This thread can be an opportunity for you to simply consider where you are at the moment. And, your not a lost cause Rio. I hope you will continue to interact and learn. And that is what most of the members here are doing. We are all trying to support each other, and we all know we are not perfect.

Open Eyes