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Originally Posted by Michael D.
This ^ ... Is indicative of emotional manipulation. If he monitors his behaviour in front of his parents (that is, in situations where his anger can get him into trouble), then he knows it's wrong and he is capable of stopping himself. Rather, he knows that he shouldn't be doing it. But he likely feels justified for some reason or another, so he chooses not to stop himself. Such a technique is quite effective in controlling people... Depending on the person, of course.
It also happens to be one of those manipulative techniques that even I know is unethical. So, yeah, cut him loose.
But, out of curiosity, this is the same guy who agreed never to look at or speak to other women?
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Yes, its the same guy. this never used to happen . it's just recently . Now i'm not exactly sure if its abuse or manipulation . what i feel it is is a child throwing a fit when he doesn't get his way .Hes 17 and im 16 . but i've been an adult since eight years old. this is a very mature relationship . and he never even had a real relationship before me.. he had little middle school , junior high relationship that all lasted less then a month.we've been together for almost two years, but we've only lived together for 6 months of it. i feel like he doesn't know how to handle his anger , he needs to better his communication skills. learn to talk to me when hes upset instead of hitting things. i understand not being able to control you're emotions. before i had no control over my sadness. and i cut myself up my entire arm , til i filled the sink with blood and had no where left to cut.. now last night . when we fought. he hurt my feelings and i was so sad and angry . i didn't even scratch my arm with my nails. i've learned how to control myself a little more. i just feel like he needs help to understand that.. can i do that? can i help him instead of leave him .?
the reason hes quieter when his parents are home is because. well of course they'll be pissed off at him for acting that way . but it they know we fight . they'll kick me out.
his parents are kind of weird that way too.. if i don't clean the house enough they threaten to kick me out. i have no where else to go , and he would die if i had to leave . buut! his parents never tell me i have to leave. they tell him . they tell him that if i dont do something they'll make me leave.