Hoppipolla, I can understand what you're going through, but eight years together is unfathomable to me. I think I would have killed myself if she were to leave me after that time. You're a lot stronger than me, friend.

I broke down in the shower this morning. It's such stupid things that make me sob. I ran out of my medication and it's hit me real hard. I'm constantly dizzy, I can't sleep, and I've been having these horrible lucid nightmares. The 19th of next month would have been our third year anniversary and the 18th is her birthday. I need advice. Do I call her? Do I send her a letter? Do I show up at her place and try to talk? I'm really afraid of what I'll do to myself by then (especially since I've become so effing dependent on my meds).