Oh I'm not going to give up! I was just wondering if I should maybe change my dreams to fit reality better. Just contemplating. Bipolar is not this biggest thing challenging me. It's a combination of things. The biggest thing challenging me from achieving what I want to is myself.

I'm working on it, and the small steps towards the direction is exactly what I need to do but have not been doing. Also I've been going through what seems like some sort of spiritual, identity breakdown ( or breakthrough ? ) for lack of better words for quite a while. Not as in I didn't know who I was before. I think my dreams are changing a bit. Since I posted this, I have come to some better understandings of myself and what I want, and why I have been stuck. When I posted this I was in the midst of spiritual crisis, I think I am slowly moving on to awakening ( I hope ). And now I just made myself sound crazy. Meh.

The only thing keeping me stuck is me. I think I am done with that.