((((Bluemountains)))))

I understand. Let this be whatever it is. You may have a wide range of emotions all at the same time. I felt very sad for my dad when they had the wreck last year and he was life flighted. And I felt guilt because I wished he would die. I felt sad because I wanted that to happen! And I loved my father because he is my dad. But I hated him because he was my abuser.

It is ok to feel everything you feel.