For 2 years I spent my life online speaking with a guy whom I thought I was "in-love" with. Then he cheated on me with another girl online and I was devastated and until this day (over a year later) I wonder why he did it for he had said that he had truly cared for me and for those 2 years it seemed real.

For most of this year I was fine, I met someone new, someone in real life, someone who could talk to me and hug me and make everything go away. But recently that ex is starting to creep into my mind again and it's hurting our relationship. My boyfriend knows how much my ex hurt me, he knows that he has a way of getting into my mind. My boyfriend understands that this guy has a way of manipulating my thoughts and feelings without even being there and I feel so extremely guilty.

I love my boyfriend very much, with all my heart and I see ourselves together for a very long time. But my ex appears in my dreams, I'm unfaithful to my boyfriend in these dreams. And even though I know that I dislike my ex for what he did I still feel like I need to talk to him. I want to be over this, I thought I was.. But sometimes when I talk about it I start to cry, so it's obvious I'm not over it at all.