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Old Feb 23, 2012, 12:08 AM
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PreacherHeckler PreacherHeckler is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Close to the Adirondacks but not close enough
Posts: 578
Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
I worry about this too. I have been going for many many many years thankfully with the same T and I've learned a lot but I can never picture myself ending therapy.

I can't see the day where I'll run out of issues to deal with. I can't see the day where I have fully "internalized" my T--I need a warm body to go with that advice, not just an echo in my head!

My T does not let me talk about "someday" ("I don't plan on retiring") or what-if (I'm healthier than you are what makes you think I'll die first? ...Umm, I'm a female who is 20 yrs younger, chances are in my favor) He thinks it would be encouraging past feelings of abandonment and loss unnecessarily and just feeds my fears.

Can't wait to see what others say on this-good topic!
Wow, I would freak out if my T didn't let me talk about "someday." I think that not preparing you for "someday" leaves you much more vulnerable to both abandonment and loss because, healthy or not, no one can predict the future. Your T may have no intentions of retiring or dying but I think your T does you a disservice by discouraging any discussion about what life might be like without him. It's true that we will always have things we can learn about ourselves or work on, but if your T is the only person you ever feel safe with, or the only person you ever feel comfortable enough with to talk about problems, the loss will be magnified greatly if his plans to outlive you or to never retire don't quite work out the way he expects them to. In my opinion, facing your fears of loss and abandonment, and working through them in therapy, is a much healthier choice than feeding into your T's apparent belief that he has so much control over his life and his fate that he can predict his future and yours also.
__________________
Conversation with my therapist:

Doc: "You know, for the past few weeks you've seemed very disconnected from your emotions when you're here."
Me: "I'm not disconnected from my emotions. I just don't feel anything when I'm here."
(Pause)
Me: "Doc, why are you banging your head against the arm of your chair?"
Doc: "Because I'm not close enough to a wall."

It's official. I can even make therapists crazy.
Thanks for this!
growlycat, rainbow8, SoupDragon, tohelpafriend