Invest, thank you for your response! I really appreciate hearing your point of view. The two of you seem to have a lot in common. He took programming in college for a long time, and is very good at it, but decided against it because the amount of time you have to spend going back through all the code you wrote if there is a mistake, or a glitch somewhere. It's a frustrating job that doesn't get the credit it deserves. Most people think programming is easy, but I also took a few programming classes and have written several websites from scratch and know first-hand how time consuming and headache-causing it can be. So, I totally respect your chosen line of work.

As far as the love of video games goes, I am exactly your age and understand that our generation, and the generation before us, views gaming a lot differently than the baby boomers. We all grew up with video games, either on a console or on the computer, and we don't view it as a sign of immaturity to like playing video games until your 90 years old. It's recreational, just like playing soccer or the piano. You build problem solving skills, hand-eye-coordination, and focus. I appreciate all of this. As I said before, I used to be a pretty serious gamer. I almost went pro. I was in training, and doing tournaments every weekend while I was working full time and going to school. But I also learned from that experience. I saw how consumed I became with my gaming, and how I would let my other responsibilities - like time with my boyfriend (now my ex), attention at work, and motivation to do school work - fall to the sidelines so I could game more. That isn't healthy.

My boyfriend is pretty good about spending time with us now, but he wasn't for a over a year. He still plays games a lot, in my opinion, which I am OK with, but I don't like how it affects his attitude. If he doesn't get his gaming time he is irritable and sulky, which I find unattractive because he is a man who needs to be focused on taking care of and spending time with his family. He is in his mid-thirties, and should be able to prioritize by this point in his life. I love to game, but do I spend that much time gaming? No. I spend it with my son instead. I sneak a game or two in here and there on the weekend so I can allow myself to have some frivolous fun, but I know that if I become too involved in a game I will neglect my family, and my family comes first! I suppose I am frustrated because I completely understand his desire to play, I really do. I have been there. I just wish his priorities were more inline with mine, that he could find the same pleasure in spending time with his family that he finds in video games. There is MORE satisfaction to be had with real human interaction than can ever be experienced in the virtual world of a game, but you have to be open to that and understanding that life is a game with no clear "win" or "lose". In a video game you can virtually build yourself into a God-like thing, so good at the game that you become unbeatable. But life isn't like that. It is more complex. I think that gamers, in general, have a personality that seeks shelter in a video game with clear-cut rules to escape the complexity and hardships of real life. Our family needs a MAN, someone who will face these hardships head-on and work with us as a team to overcome them and progress forward, making our lives better rather than complaining about it.

That's just my two cents. You seem to understand that having a child will require a dramatic shift in priorities, and I'm glad that you were able to understand what excessive gaming was doing to your relationship and then you DID SOMETHING about it. That gives you an A+ in my book, for what it's worth. I make mistakes, I know my boyfriend will make mistakes. We will take each other for granted sometimes, take our son for granted sometimes, and that is normal. I just want a partner who will recognize when this is happening and take the necessary steps to even things out again. I hope that makes sense.

I just took a full time job, so my son will need to go to daycare during the day. I can only hope that this new, busier, lifestyle will encourage him to wake up and see how precious his time with his family is, and how insignificant his video games are in comparison.

Thanks again for your reply and perspective. I wish you the best in fatherhood, when that time comes, and I hope that this post will encourage you to take that responsibility seriously at that time. Life is too short to neglect the people who love you and are there for you so you can play your video game for one more hour.