I have been with my bipolar boyfriend for 5 years. He has been divorced for 15 years with no communication with the ex wife. When arrangments are made for visitation they are made through his parents. Two years ago she filed for divorce from her recent husband. Since then I have found emails to her and her family telling them how much he still loves her and wants to put the family back together. She never responded to him because she does not want to be with him. When I confront him with this he says we were fighting and I just wanted to hurt you. Well that does not make sense to me because I happened to find the emails to her by accident. Now he tells me he was just messing with her head. I do not believe him. When he goes off his medicine and starts drinking he emails all his ex girlfriends, coworkers, and single women on face book. He joins porn sites watches porn videos and sends nude photos of himself to single women he says as a joke. I am hurt and confused wondering if he really does love me or if he loves her and just uses me because she does not want to be with him. This last time he even emailed his daughter and asked why her Mom won't love him. Keep in mind the whole time he is doing this he is drunk and off his medicine. Does his true feelings come out when in this state of mind?
Please give me advice and your opinions for I am so confused and hurt right now.