I googled and tried to find it, but I can't find it right now. Years ago I read a parenting book about how to say No to your child. While the book in general was about setting limits instead of letting children do whatever they want, one chapter was devoted to the three No's they should never hear. Two of them were "No, I don't love you," and "No, you're not capable." I can't remember the third. Wish I could. That's why I was googling.

Well, I certainly got a strong dose of that "No, you're not capable." To this day I haven't had a driver's license yet. Currently studying the manual. I've passed the knowledge test before, but I need brushing up. Hubby has tried to teach me to drive, but as often happens when husband tries to teach wife, it didn't work out very well. Almost gave up due to vision problems, but that turned out to be diabetes-related, and has improved. I'd already proven to myself that I am capable of learning. I'm trying again when I get the permit, this time with a professional instructor.

Hubby and I discussed it this morning. When I was in high school, the age at which most people are doing this kind of thing, I was reading a driver's ed textbook. Unfortunately, the high school I went to didn't offer driver's ed. It had been discontinued the year before I became eligible, because that's how my luck goes. So anyway, I'm reading the textbook when my grandmother walks into the room. "Oh, you're reading about driving. Hard, isn't it?" Emphasis hers, she really did say it like that. In her defense, she herself did have a hard time learning, had to go through professional instruction as I am doing, and when she learned, cars were much more difficult to drive than they are now. Still, I'd been brainwashed my entire life to believe driving a car was about as difficult as climbing Mount Everest, and everyone's prediction was that if it ever happened at all, it would be a long struggle for me. Well, of course it has been one, but that's why the term "self-fulfilling prophecy" exists.

My family had written off the idea of me driving decades ago, before I had a fair chance to try. (This is one reason why, if you want to make me really angry really fast, assume in advance that I'm going to fail at something.) I was still in my teens when I heard my mother telling somebody I probably had a mental block, and couldn't learn to drive. Note that she said this WITHOUT ever having taken me out to let me try. Never tested the hypothesis, but drew the conclusion. Far more recently, my sister said she was shocked to hear that I had wanted to learn to drive all along. She had NOT thought I was incapable of learning. She had thought I was too scared to try. (And wasn't capable of overcoming the fear?) Again this doesn't hold up, because over the years I had repeatedly asked family members to teach me. They all told me they'd be glad to, but then never actually did it. (Because secretly they thought I was incapable?) That same grandmother who told me how hard driving was, refused to allow me to practice in her car. "Not a new driver. No way. Not in my car." Four years later, she gladly allowed my sister to practice in her car. (She had confidence in my sister's ability, but not mine?)

Wow... continuing this topic certainly is depressing. This is a long post, but I've got to dump all of this stuff and get it out of me. I've heard "No, you're not capable" too long.

Hubby has taken me from empty parking lot to slow roads with light traffic, but by mutual decision he won't be taking me the rest of the way. HE just gets too nervous, and then in turn that doesn't do anything for my own nerves. I am confident that a few professional lessons will tie up the loose ends and enable me to pass a road test. I started this journey of learning to drive 3 years ago, 30 years later in life than most people start it, and taking longer to learn it than most people do. But that's typical of me with anything that requires physical coordination. Typing. Riding a bicycle. Throwing a ball. All of those things came to me with more difficulty than it did to others, but I practiced by myself and learned to do them. If it were legal to learn driving the same way--instead of another person's presence being required--I'd have done it years ago.