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Originally Posted by mcl6136
...why would any thoughts be unwanted? I mean...they might not be liked; they might be frightening, but couldn't they be transformed into something intriguing, useful, even illuminating in the end?
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You happened to remind me of a (rather trivial) example. Some years ago I had a job where I worked with wood a lot. My pockets would regularly fill up with chips and sawdust so I'd leave my checkbook in the glove compartment of my car where it would stay cleaner. One evening I was driving to the bank after work. I parked the car, turned off the engine and thought, "Oh, almost forgot my checkbook!"
Normally I would have taken that as just more proof that I was as absent-minded and unreliable as I'd always thought, and looked for ways to "supervise" myself so I wouldn't forget again next time. Tape a note to the dash... tie a string around my finger...
go back to carrying the checkbook in my pocket, wood chips or no. This time, though, I suddenly noticed what I was saying to myself. "Forgot, heck!
I remembered the checkbook
exactly when I needed to. It wouldn't have done me any good to remember it a block earlier while I was still driving and couldn't do anything about it."
In my experience, struggling to make sure I don't think "negative" thoughts works about the same way as struggling to make sure I don't forget my checkbook.
Quote:
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Someone told me once: the facts are always friendly.
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That's from Carl Rogers, one of my favorite psychologists ever.
I'm sure he must've said it more than once. I first read it in
On Becoming A Person but the same essay also appears in
The Carl Rogers Reader. There's a Google Books copy of the latter
here.
In another essay, Rogers identifies seven stages that clients appear to move through in the course of therapy. Here's a snippet from his description of the third stage:
Quote:
Personal choices are often seen as ineffective.
The client "chooses" to do something, but finds that his behaviors do not fall in line with this choice.
I believe it will be evident that many people who seek psychological help are approximately at the point of stage three. They may stay at roughly this point for a considerable time describing non-present feelings and exploring the self as an object, before being ready to move to the next stage.
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Two things that that reminds me of, are making New Year's resolutions and -- deciding not to think any more negative thoughts.