Hello aramirez, first off I have to say you are very strong to have gone through what you did and still have the drive to move forward as you have. After all you have been through, you must see how far you have actually come. Yes, there is still that painful memory that, at times, overshadows all the good that has come of this. So I agree with others when they say to focus on those good points.

I tend to have a similar dilemma. I often let things bother me a lot longer than they probably should. And more often than not, it's because I don't understand, therefore I can't move on. When I was a child, my dad studied Scientology. I was never a huge fan of it, but one good point he taught me from it was "When reading, never pass a misunderstood word, otherwise you won't understand the passage as well as you could". I view life in the same manner. If something occurs and I don't understand the "why" then I have a hard time getting past it. My solution? Asking "why". Once I understand something, I don't necessarily have to agree with it, but just understanding it, allows me to accept it for what it is.

In this specific case, maybe you need to ask him why he said what he said. Then you can go from there as to how to proceed; whether that's accepting it, addressing it, or forgiving it. At least you'll know what all you're dealing with.

I wish you the best and hope this pain passes for you.