Now everybody comes across conflicts at work; there is no perfect job and not everyone at work likes you. When I joined back in that company, the problems still were still the same: conflicts related to skills, to know-how, people thinking that they know more than you when it’s not their field of expertise. However, when it comes to them having to explain what they do, people would say that it’s not your field and that you wouldn’t understand.I personally think that I feel inferior to my own boss, the way he talks to me. Every time, we have a conversation, he tends to point out details that are not important and that are not related to the conversation. Now, the fact that he’s the boss forces me to listen to him, to a point where sometimes, I cannot object and add my real points of views. His false promises and the fact that he’s taking the wrong decisions in the wrong field (his expertise lies in corporate identity and branding, as well as other related fields and I’m into software development and internet technologies, that is, social media marketing, search engine optimisation, etc…) really irritate me but I can’t say *****!! Then, at the end of the month, he would call me privately and tell me (all the time, it’s like this, all the time!) that he has to make concessions for him to obtain my salary, only mine as for the rest, well mysteriously, they never have an issue.

My personal impression is that he’s playing around with my job, making tests here and there, telling me not to take the right decisions and watch me fight back, ***** it, like I’m in an arena and I have to fight back fierce clients and face them afterwards when ***** happens…

However, I always see both sides of a person; with time and patience, I managed to control this as well. So I have to note a few positive points, especially about the way he thinks I am and areas on which I must improve in order to have a better personality and a better life.

I think too hastily and do not take time to take the right decision, especially when it comes to look carefully into a project.
I always jump excitedly whenever I get a good idea, it’s such a childish reaction…
Even if I calculate the right cost estimates for a project (normally, it’s to the minute close, I usually calculate my fees based on the number of work-hours multiplied by the fees per hour for a person or two, take out holidays if need be, etc…), I confuse the client with all the mathematics and the calculations.
Clients, he rightly points out, are interested in the final results and what will be given to them. It’s the way you present it to them that counts the most. Even if it’s cr*p you’re about to show them on a porcelain plate, they will gladly take a knife and fork, tie a towel around their neck and enjoy it!
I have the tendency to delve into everything, from all to all.
I do not concentrate on what needs to be focused
I also attract a lot of attention for nothing, again another childish reaction :-(

I also do too much planning; lots of willpower and no willingness at all; I tend to do everything perfect, so perfect that I abandon doing everything in the end since nothing can ever be perfect and I end up doing nothing in the end. That’s very discouraging.

What I think annoys him from my side…

He is too impatient, maybe I explain too slowly or impose too much in him where he thinks I’m taking him for a fool. And whenever I explain something, I have the feeling that he’s waiting for my conversation to finish so that he can afterwards add his as if saying “Ok, you’re done? Now it’s my turn.” without even listening to me. In fact we rarely pass on each other’s message, we always wait for one another to end in order to start our conversation, thinking that my conversation will be much more interesting and people will now clap hands, hehe, wait and see, well waited but no clap, just crap !

Meeting with my boss

I have the feeling that I’m not participating in any meeting at all when my boss is talking in a meeting. Even if the idea that I would propose would be all right (because they mentioned the same idea at a later stage), I got scared in mentioning it, for fear of being taken for a fool at that particular moment, for fear of being taken for a sublime idiot, someone who talks just for the sake of talking

I have this inferiority complex at work; I feel very inferior to my peers and always get scared at saying something, for fear of it being ****** in any conversation. They could even joke by calling me a crazy person however I would not find this funny and would still take it personally, just because of my inferiority complex. Now, when I feel sleepy, drowsy, it’s usually because I was about to do something that will not keep me awake or that I’ll consider boring. I also feel very uneasy when I’m being watched, wherever that is: work, bus station… I do not feel confident enough in my own skin and do not trust myself enough to be able to fully engage myself in a conversation. I feel that whatever I will be saying will not be seriously taken or might be twisted by my peers just for fun into something hilariously humiliating…

Where it degenerates…

Now all of this inferiority complex lessens my willingness, willpower, envy, need, want to change to a better life. In those particular moments, I just FEEL THE NEED FOR A FIX in order to set everything all right and forget about the bad moments, even if I’m on methadone.

THIS IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND MAKES ME DANGEROUS AS WELL, AS WELL AS GETS MY WHOLE ENTOURAGE TO BE IN DANGER TOO, SO WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS !!??

I publish all my articles on [www]bookofwildthoughts[dot]com so if you want to read more about my issues and issues that i encouter every minute of my life, you can check out my blog and pity me; yes i beg you, please pity me, im begging you to begging me, that's how depressive i can get sometimes