I was a part of the recovery world for four years (in AA but was involved with NA aspects visiting jails, rehabs, and hospitals). Good for you for not placing yourself secondary and sticking to your guns. When someone is in the throws of addiction the "addiction" makes all the decisions. The person only making appearances here and there. She needs to face the consequences. The addiction will do everything in it's power to survive. Including finding people that will enable it to survive. Care from a distance and don't feel terrible for being a true friend and letting her know that what she's doing to herself is unacceptable. Caring from a distance (detaching with love they call it in codependent circles) is not allowing yourself to get entangled in their mess. Placing an appropriate boundary. Sometimes that means repeating over and over - I can't allow you to stay with me, I can't give you money. But I will go out to have coffee with you. A tip someone gave me when I was dealing with an active addict who perpetually dragged me in - Was to remember that it's the "addiction" doing the talking and to envision them as a duck and anything that came out of their mouth translate into what it actually is: Addict talk = "Quack, quack, quack". When they are ready and make moves for themselves toward real change - You'll know it.