I so wish that there could be an instant cure for PTSD (as I know you all wish). I don't think I would be doing so badly if it wasn't affecting my life so severely at the mo. Hey, I know that I would still be sinking... .. but not in such a bad way. Just about every phone call I have regarding daughter no1 (who was put back into 24/7 care) and every meeting I have regarding her recently has seen me a blubbering mess. Take today as an example. I got a phone call to say she was with her father having access and fainted, andthat she was now at the hospital. I said bye, raced to the hospital with my panic attack increasing every second, as too was my rage at my ex not having contacted me, and found out that she had fallen to the floor (probably due to not eating for nearly a day, having a temp, and not really drinking either), had gotten straight back up (i.e. not a faint, just dizziness or lack of energy) and was running round the ward looking generally very happy. Ex was really angry that I was there as he was getting it all sorted, so I copped a barrel-full of abuse (as well as getting in some snide remarks of my own- I just couldn't keep my mouth shut) before the carers and their boss turned up. The PTSD is all around no1- I was diagnosed with it after I finally got her home along with half the hospital's medical equipment at 3 mths!- and this is why anything concerned with her at the mo is so stressful to begin with. The carers and I have not been seeing eye to eye recently, and they arrived with an attitude. Ex decided that if there were so many ppl there, and as he was still taking digs at me, he would go and see no1 another time Carer Betty then turned to her boss Wendy and said if he goes then she (me) goes too. I am just being stopped every moment of every day at being a mum to no1, and that is what upsets me so much. Luckily Wendy quickly put Betty in her place (which did NOT go down well), ex stayed, but by that stage I had run from the hospital in tears. The only good news is that no1 just has a virus, I was well supported by Wendy and the dr (who knows us SO well!), but now I am back, under the water trying to get a breath of air. I know there is no magic cure for PTSD of course ( ) but I so wish there was. Sorry for this whine, I just had to get it outa me before it made my headache any worse