Thank you! It went both well and not so well. Basically, I learned that I am fully dependent on my physiological states. In the beginning, when I was fresh, it went well. At the end, during the most important conversation with the hiring manager, I was hungry and thirsty. This makes my mind dull. I did not answer several important questions well. But I do not want to give up: I will write a follow up thank you note mentioning my further thoughts on the subject, so that she could see how my mind works afresh. I am working on that letter now. She definitely is not someone who would hire based on looks, even subconsciously - she goes for substance.

Physiology: despite having been swimming for 65(!) minutes and having gone to sleep in a relaxed state, I could not fall asleep. I ended up with 150 mg Trazodone and 1 whole pill of Klonopin. I slept for 8 hours, but sleep was not restful. This past night I slept for 9.5 hours like a baby. Why not yesterday - go figure...

The interview started at 2PM and my train (they run infrequently) left at 12:15. So I had lunch too early and was already semi-hungry by the beginning of the interview.

And the worst part - I was offered water but declined, because my hands shake when I hold a glass of water. This is from Depakote. This is exacerbated when I am stressed out. So I was getting dehydrated and this is awful for cognitive functioning.

I am not sure I will get another interview but if I do, lessons learned:

1) do not say that I am available all day long - give time windows so that the interview starts shortly after breakfast or lunch, and eat a complete meal

2) buy a sports bottle because my hands shake less when I do not have to worry about spilling from an open cup, take the bottle with me

3) fill it with Vitalyte, not H2O, because electrolytes hydrate much better than plain water

4) prepare more - I was asked some predictable questions for which I did not prepare answers

Shaking hands was a bummer, but now as I am writing it I realize that I should have at least made my hand into a cup and drunk in the ladies' room, to get SOME hydration. Was not smart enough for that.

The reason I was so concerned about shaking hands was not bipolar - they would not have guessed. They would either have thought that if I am so stressed out by a simple interview that I would be non-functioning on the job under pressure, or suspected substance dependency. Either way they would have become afraid of me. So, a real bummer.

OK, NOW I will drink Vitalyte and tea and get going on that follow-up letter. I want to feel like I have done what I could.

By the way, on Wed I saw my p-doc and complained about tremor. His response: "Think about what it would have been without tremor". Fair enough, I would have been manic often.

So I guess if I do get hired any place, I would have to explain to my new manager what is going on with my hands so that she would not suspect drug dependency. After all, being a stable well-medicated bipolar is less of a threat to the workplace than being an unmanaged substance abuser.

Lastly, the hiring manager told me of a relatively new certification that I can get (via an exam) that would increase my value career-wise. I got that feeling that she would not hire me but is giving me this good advice, and I am thankful. If I do not get the job, I will look into studying for the exam.