I think people start out life wanting everything. That part is not the wrong part, btw.

It's just when I was growing up and I would hear women tell me, "I want you, I need you", I would absolutely believe them and for good reason. People want everything. So it was never a stretch in my mind to think that these girls wanted me too (at the time). The problem is, that's only half the story, right?

The thought should be expanded to, "I want you, I need you, I want everyone else too, I need everyone else too." Wanting something is easy, wanting something exclusively is something else. I think the same is true with every other emotion too.

When he said he cared about you, I think he did. He didn't just care about you though. He cared about other women, himself, his needs, etc. Works with love too.

Wanting someone is not an intellectual decision if we start out life wanting everything. Not wanting something, THAT is the intellectual decision. Pushing everything else out of your mind, that's the decision, that's the choice people make. Your ex couldn't do that.

And it seems you are having a hard time doing that now too.

If I was in your position, I would say, wanting your ex is not that spectacularly interesting. It's something that that's built-in to who you are as a person. You grow up wanting everything and he's there in that.

You pushed him out of your mind with distractions, but when you think about him, you realize that you never made the decision to not want him anymore. I think one of the biggest parts of growing up. You have to teach yourself to not want something anymore. So make the intellectual decision because relying on your emotions will just leave you where you are now.

It will always leave you wanting everything. Just my two cents.