I have ADD and have generally been very successful. I have to work very hard at it, though, and have to use a lot of coping skills and take meds. I have a lot of the same behaviors you describe. I started coming up with coping skills on my own by age 7 because it was so distressing to lose things all of the time.

I've been given the "you're smart enough to have learned to compensate by now" line before and I wish I had punched that person in the face. I went asking for help because I was distressed at how hard things were for me!