Dear T,

So who did I bring in to session today? The strong me, the competent me, the me who is "dealing well" with this new bombshell life has dropped in my lap - the diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. I sounded really great, didn't I? Full of plans for exercise, diet, supplements, lots of information on the disease, lots of insight on how lucky I really am.

Did you get even the smallest idea how scared I am? How frightened I am about the medication my doc has put me on - it's a cancer med with rally scary side effects. Do you know that I'm feeling like I just can't deal with this latest blow to my psyche, and that all the things that have happened over all these years have finally added up to, almost, one too many? Did you know that when I told my son he blew me off, and that when I told my daughter in law she told me that her grandmother had it too and she ended up shaking in a wheelchair? WTF, thanks a lot for that piece of news!!

Please help me pull it together somehow. I feel really lost and needy right now. I don't know if I have the inner resources to pull it together and move on one more time.