Thank you, Songbird. Yes, it does feel like a head spin. And youa re right - dealing with the "here and now" stuff is hard. Like you, I'm trying also to deal with a lot of old stuff. I'm finding it hard to keep on tackling all the deep down beliefs - the "schemas" my T calls them. When other stuff impinges as well it is even harder.

Your T sounds like mine. I told him last week I didn't feel I was coping and he listed on his fingers all the things I am doing - still working, making it to my appointments, keeping the house and family going. Like you, I tend to discount those things. But we do have to keep doing them.

I never realised that other people don't ruminate on all those questions until very recently. Like I never realised that others don't have the constant self talk, self criticism and commentary / analysis going on inside their heads all the time, or that not everyone hears all the sounds around them (hyper-vigilance my T calls it). These things make it all so much harder, don't they?

Thanks for the reminder re lists. I have my list but I keep forgetting to look at it or add to it. I have marked off things I have done, but with my job the same things come round time and again - like marking. But the list is a good thing and you are so right about getting the things out of my head space. I know lists do that for me. I'm not sure it is manageable at the moment - and T agrees with me there. But I have been trying to talk to others about the things we have to do and it has been reassuring to find that a lot of colleagues feel similarly overwhelmed with the work load.

Thank you, Songbird. Your thoughtful response meant a lot.

C