Soo...this week with T has been interesting. I had a session on Monday and cried so hard and said I didn't want to leave-I was dissociating pretty bad-T had to do a lot of grounding work-and even asked a lot if I was positive I was okay-and walked me down the stairs and made me promise I was going to be fine to go home (I was) and to email him when I got home. So then on Tuesday I called him because I woke up that morning still feeling weird (almost hungover) and my legs were still shaky and when I was in the shower my chest hurt-so I was concerned-so T said to just keep an eye on it-but that can happen.
Then I had a lot of stressful things happen in my family-emergencies-triggers-so I emailed T and we went back and fourth (I had posted the one rant I went on to him) and I look back now and feel like I was like an out of control child-and I requested to see him Saturday...he said we could-and now we are meeting tomorrow morn. However, I have this weird, guilty feeling...like I made this huge tantrum-sent him almost 20 emails in a matter of days-but I ultimately got what I wanted-he is going to see me...hmm...I have a weird feelings about it-but I'm not quit sure what...maybe I just feel like the "grown up" part of me would NEVER behave this way-but the little girl needy part doesn't know how to get what she wants without acting out..hmm...ok sorry I'm rambling-should I tell T about this tomorrow?