Well, for one thing ... you are not pathetic ... or stupid.

I am so sorry for the fears and loneliness that you are feeling right now.

Crank that radio up as loud as you can .... drown out the parade at all costs. Well - I would do that.

I do drink - so sadly, I can say that I have used getting drunk as a means of coping many times ( and I have not, or rarely do, admit that here ).

My thoughts and love and strength are with you. I am so sorry you feel so lonely and isolated right now.

(((( walkswithspiritbear )))