I am very sorry to hear this. It happened to me, in 2004, after 24 years of marriage.
It was a living hell. I was in a deep depression and imediately cycled into mixed states when it happened. I had to see my Psychiatrist and have my meds adjusted a number of times. I was numb and had no idea which end was up. I don't know the ages of your children, but I have 2 daughters and they were 20 and 22 at the time. The youngest was behind me and supportive, the oldest has went back and forth over the years. Your children will figure it out once they get through the anger. I had to start my life over from scratch, I knew I wasn't strong enough to play the games she tried to engage me in. I went to therapy twice a week to sort things out, for over a year. I felt so alone. All I can say is try not to give up hope, and don't expect anyone to understand the depth of your pain, I certainly never found anyone. Today some things are better, some not, but everything is different. I was finally able to live my dream, I moved to the city by the Ocean I always wanted to retire at. I live in a small mobile 600 yards from the beach, I love it here. If you need someone to talk to I am here. I have a lot of free time. Call me I have free long distance. 831-431 6794. Tom