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Old Feb 26, 2012, 01:08 PM
WantingtoHeal WantingtoHeal is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2012
Posts: 240
I'm not so sure I'm the best person to respond to this, since I have recently been asked to take a leave of absence from my job, but I have in the past had a very stressful full-time job, been a mom, wife (now divorced), and kept up with everything - somehow. I'm not sure how, and now, I'm realizing that I have been most likely (possibly) dissociating the whole time.

I just remember hearing in my head, "Just keep going. Just keep going." "You can only do one thing at a time." "just one thing at a time" "Just keep on going" "You can do it." And somehow it all got done. Probably not very well, though. I work in a critical care unit where things can go badly very quickly and it's a very fast paced environment where every little detail has to be noticed and monitored. I've seen a lot and been triggered and felt my body drop, but just kept hearing that voice and my body would keep doing the job.

If you have a comforting part, that is very helpful. Also, being kind to yourself, allowing yourself and realizing that you don't have to be perfect is very important. It's okay to not do the dishes sometimes. That's hard for me.
There was a scene from the movie Parenthood about a roller coaster being compared to the ups and downs of life. I've used that a lot - seems to comfort me. Sometimes I imagine being on a roller coaster or some ride that is relaxing for me and I flow along with the pain, fear, and anxiety of daily life - hoping and knowing somehow that there will be an up somewhere in the future.

It is exciting that you are at this point. It must feel strange, but nice in a way and scary, too. I wish you well.