I think that is great insight, Perna. Last week my T, for the first time, took a definite, "defensive/angry"...., i.e., 'you crossed my boundaries',
tactic against me. She was stolid and insisted she felt attacked after I 'assertively' (good practice for me), asked politely for my medical record, or how to procure it, as I had asked her for this some 3 months ago. ?: maybe she felt I wanted to delve into her notes? Maybe she felt guilty?
The issue was over my meds being abruptly stopped after I reported a serious, breathing side effect after 6 days and the Dr. would not re-prescribe, part of the clinic's contract with me. She always insisted I must "pull to respond", and "push to react." I realized a very primal fact: when we are threatened, we do get angry...it's a survival emotion. But I knew I was not angry at her. A few days later I saw something else: her balance of power with me had been challenged or threatened...and the horrifying thought of how my mother had crushed my will,, talents and ambition as a young girl came hurling back to me...THIS was the problem....an indomitable personality refusing to accept submiission toany mortal again and rising up to demand my rights. I think she was having a stressful day and I just don't like her anymore. Moving on...Anyone ever experienced this before in T....a revelation of what you've suffered from all your life? Well, it was all worth it then....