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Originally Posted by InTherapy
I only started therapy around Christmas. He has not yet gotten angry with me.
The closest he got wasn't even something he said that I could point to: I mentioned how when I got angry with my boyfriend I sometimes called him "dumb" or "stupid" and how I knew I really shouldn't do that. He didn't even say anything, but his posture, sudden narrowing of his eyes, let me know that he was less than thrilled about this confession and didn't approve.
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That's the sort of anger I've experienced too. One could probably define it as something other than anger, though I'm not sure how much the term matters. It's disapproval, which might feel worse than anger, idk. With me, it happened during couples therapy sometimes. Since I realized t does that, I'm pretty careful what I say. It still happens sometimes though, like when I told him about fighting with my sister as a kid and he seemed disappointed that I can't apologize to her now.
My t has also tried to get me to show anger and I think he did it in an manipulative, mean way. I told him about it a year later but he didn't remember.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WePow
My T lets me know sometimes what emotion he feels. I think he is mirroring to me how to name emotions. "I feel sad that I missed you saying that in session last week." or he will say "I feel angry about what your father did to you."
Sometimes I can see if I push his button about something. He shifts and withdraws emotionally to keep himself safe. Then I appologize as soon as I realize what is going on and he comes back :-)
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I'm curious how you can tell you're pushing his buttons like that. I don't think I'm that clued into where my t is coming from but I wish I could tell.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cbreeze22
My ex T, during our final session, got angry with me because I jokingly let her know that I thought she didn't like me. She never did deny it, but she was mad that I thought it. She became very defensive; I guess I pushed a button, since she said something about it being brought up in her supervision, but that wasn't my intention. Just like when I'd asked her weeks before why I annoy her so often, I really wanted a denial, not an explanation.
Exactly what I got early on from my mother - here are the reasons I can't stand you and wish you were out of my life, when all I wanted was "I don't hate you. I'm glad you're in my life."
Thankfully, though, this weekend marks the first time since session #1 that I have a healthy lack of feeling for her. No "loving feelings" or hate or anything. It's GREAT.
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I'm sorry cbreeze and I'm glad you're getting over it. I'm afraid I might be in the same boat after my next appointment. I wonder how long it takes? Anyway, I think that's awful she couldn't end things more positively. I guess if it gets brought up in her supervision, it means it's her problem, and probably one she has with other clients too, so probably good you moved on.