I'm no angel in my marriage; yet as it has been explained to me attempted homicide is not as forgivable as my affair. I could list a zillion things he has done to cut me to the core, but I made the choice to stay with him, and have. Communication between us has gotten way better, both in therapy (when we can afford it.) I'm already dealing with PTSD, depression, and sexual anxiety. I am working on my 4th & 5th in relation to my marriage, at this point I feel like it's our only hope. It's so hard to forgive a man who did me so wrong in so many ways, it's harder to forgive myself for putting Up with it for the sake of "hope." I'm trying, a day at a time, it's hard not to mourn the person I was, and the one I've become because I put faith in a man I swore to love no matter what. I've always loved him; now I have to forgive him..easier said then done.