No means no. Having said that, and I am not making excuses for him, but it sounds very much like the boundaries of your relationship have been blurred. If you've been friends with him for this long, he's got to be a good guy and it is probably more a case of wishful thinking rather than a sexual predator. The flirty relationship does not appear to be working for him. It sounds like his feelings for you are stronger than yours for him. Now that you know this perhaps its time to put some space in the relationship and make good choices until things are more balanced.

Keep in mind the things you used to be able to do as friends without worry of mixed messages are now sending him a different message. You may have slept in a bed with him a million times without a thought before, but now you know that the balance has changed and he sees this as a form of encouragement. Flirting with him now is not only a really bad idea, it is actually pretty cruel. He wants more.

I am SO happy to hear that you've gotten rid of that last loser that was a stone around your neck and looking at things from a healthier point of view!!! Good for you!!!