struggling, I know what you mean. My T told me last week that I was trying to control the process instead of just letting my mind/brain go where it wants to go. I try too hard to focus on the target incident and the feelings. You're supposed to be like a leaf floating down the river. I get embarrassed because sometimes I'm "distracted" by a feeling about my T, but she says that is fine too. There's no right or wrong way to do EMDR. I think it takes getting used to. My T also says that it will work even if I don't think it's working! It's a strange method but I know it does help me get where "my brain needs to get." The first time I ever did it, I saw very clearly, a white picket fance with the words "I want Mommy" written in dripping white paint. I've never seen images like that again, though.