i'm so sorry that you're feeling so much hurt and that your family seems to be invalidating your feelings about yourself. please find a therapist and make an appointment and work to understand and help yourself. you can't change your family. you can change how you handle their reactions and also learn if you do have SAD. i used to be very affected by crowds and such and i know exactly what you're talking about. i "outgrew" it. it is hell and i sympathize with you very much. take care of you. that is what is most important right now. love, pat