I used to have a job that was pretty much built for me. My boss knew about my dissociation and really worked with me to ensure I was safe and that other parts were distracted when needed, etc. And in return, I was able to do a lot of work and be very productive. It was the best job I ever had.

When the company closed down, I took another job. In my mind, I just assumed that because the previous job went so well, I could do any job in the same line. I quickly found out that that was not so for me.

I was triggered constantly, lost a lot of time, was basically a mess. But even so, the job got done and my boss thought I was doing really well. Inside my head it was horrible though, even though I apparently was doing the job and well. By the time I would come home, even if I lost the day at work, I would lose the evening at home. It was a blessing when I got laid off from that job, to be honest.

Now I work mostly from home with a meeting with a client here and there outside of my home. It's with the same boss that I worked for with the first job, doing the same type of stuff (no company anymore, but we still get some work in). It's kind of in between the other two jobs as far as success. Being home, other parts of me tend to go off and do their own thing, leaving the work undone (I guess they don't even know there is work, not sure). But on the other hand, I am less triggered overall and the pressure to stay present all the time is less.

Before that first job, I never thought I could work a full time job. And after the last job, I never thought I could do it again. I've learned though that it all just depends on the environment and the knowledge and understanding of the work place.

I'm very capable of working, but I'm not capable of working just any job. I wonder if that is the same for everyone. If we could all find jobs that had the right environment for each of us, I think we could all succeed.

Find something you love to do. Then the rest will fall into place. Good luck with your journey.