Hi I'm new here and looking for some input from someone who may struggle with the same problem as me. Long story short, I was dating this boy 20+ years ago and when he left for boot camp, he stopped keeping in touch regularly so I assumed that meant he just "wasn't that into me". I was hurt, but I didn't let it keep me down for long. I started dating a friend of his casually. He suddenly remembered I existed when he came home from boot camp and while he did say he was sorry, but overall acted like no time had passed since we last spoke. But it had been over a year. I let this go because I was just happy to see him. When he left again for his new duty station, the contact from him dwindled again and I was really confused, hurt and frustrated. I began seeing the friend again and wrote army guy a letter telling him that I didn't think we should be together anymore because he didn't take me seriously as his girlfriend. About a year later, I married the friend and we were together for 19 years. One day my son and I were in this mountain town taking in the scenery and surprise surprise, there's army guy after all these years! We exchanged numbers and began talking by phone and text. We also saw each other a couple of times and started talking to each other like we were back together again. I had mentioned that my marriage didn't work out and that I was just trying to get my life back in order and be a good mom. Well 3 months had gone by since we started seeing each other and talking again, then as soon as he sees my last name, he texts me "so you did marry "m" huh?" I answered yes and that I thought we had already established this. About 5 minutes pass then I get another text from him saying "I'm sorry, but here's the "let's just be friends" speech". That was the last time I heard from him and I'm crushed. It's been 2 and a half months and he won't answer any of my texts so I'm trying to just let it go. I still can't help thinking about what the hell happened and what did I do to deserve such cold dismissal? I keep thinking it had to be my fault and how do I fix it. Any advice on how to stop this rediculousness and just forget? I developed some pretty intense feelings for him during our brief few months of seeing each other, but his actions tell me that they aren't mutual. Please help me rationalize this foolishness. 20 years has passed and he still can't get over it? Or maybe I'm the one with the problem. I just don't get it. Haven't we all done things in the past that we regret? How long do I have to pay?