Thanks both of you.... another day and a bit more perspective But the feeling is basically the same i'm afraid. The stupid thing is that i thought i was done with the whole 'loss and grieve-thing' and whatever problems i dealt with in the past. And i was actually pretty proud of myself And then here i am... not so well and definitely not as proud anymore. And this time i have no idea how to deal with it...
@Hopefull...(first of all: "getting ready for your daily cry? sorry, this made me laugh and cry at the same time...and feeling really good because i know i'm not alone...so know you're not either...)
About the talking to someone: i had one talk with a student counseler i think 4 yrs ago to get me back on track after my parents died... Please don't feel offended, but i'm afraid of going to a Therapist...I don't know if it's an english expression as well, but we call it 'navel staring'... focussing too much on myself and my issues... I really think i should focus on other things..it's just hard when you don't have the energy to start those things or you're just too tired or sad to do anything usefull/fun .... it's just hard