Thanks Julia - No offence taken. The thing that makes me happy and that gives me total pleasure - is being with him - and looking after him. I have enough time for myself during the day when he is at work. I don't intentionally set out to worry, but the worry is pretty hard to stop.
Well, he is still not home but has just phoned for the first time since Friday evening and should be home in about 3 hours. The weekend passed, and as I knew I would, I survived. I watched a bit of TV. I made a big pot of soup. I did my nails. I played with my son. I colored in my mandalas. I read some of my book. I slept late. I enjoyed uninterrupted time on-line. And I worried! And I missed him. And now that he is almost home, I can start to really live again. I can be pretty good company to myself if I have to, but I would rather be with my husband, my lover, my best friend and my soul mate.

Thank you to all for weathering this storm with me.