"I wish someone could just scoop me up and take care of me during a time when I obvioulsy am unable to care for myself." that statement right there is a statement that would be PRO-treatment. why not go to a facility? I'm pretty sure that they aren't going to make you put on weight unless you're severely underweight (but you noted you stilll had some to lose, so I'm guessing you're not?).

it's great that you've lost the weight. it's unfortunate that you've ended up where you're at in that process. let me tell you that I used to abuse laxatives when I was 19 and at 37 I had my colon removed because it didn't work properly (luckily no colostamy bag). I suffered from constipation and multiple hospital trips for most of my 20's and into my 30's. I feel great now, but man, that was THE WORST stay in the hospital and THE WORST recovery EVER when I had my colon removed--and I've had a few surgeries as an adult.

please get help and please consider their suggestions to go to treatment. you could learn the healthy way to lose weight and get the war out of your head. take care--we care! hang in there!