Dexter
Thanks for the insight and words of wisdom. I will try to make sure that her dad and I present a united front in the future. He and I spoke at length a few hours ago and we're going to try to make sure we don't add to her anxiety by arguing and that the best way to avoid that is by talking to each other first before making a decision. He adores his daughter too and says that he just can't stand to see her suffer and caves when she starts crying. He also get just a widdle bit defensive when i ask him to talk to me first because he thinks I am saying that he doesn't know what he's doing ... I guess I feel that we really DON'T know what we are doing (hence my relief in finding this forum) We are both learning about this as we go along and all we can hope to do is to be good students and not screw up too badly.

...you are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars
you have a right to be here...