You are a very caring, sensitive person who thrives on closeness. All good things. But ... it's just not fair or realistic to give up your own safety or self-esteem in order to be loved. You didn't deserve this situation, it is clearly not your fault!!! I agree with the other posters here: stay safe and get out of this relationship. No-one deserves to be treated the way you have been.

If there are any shelters, domestic violence advocacy groups, or other similar resources in your area, please find them and talk to them. They will be able to give you sound advice. I wish you all the best.